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Why aren't women supporting women? It's time to make a change.

Posted by Jody Filkins on

I'm quite frustrated with the fact that women seem to have a hard time supporting, uplifting and encouraging one another.  No, not everyone - and if you are a Handful #LoveHer - supporting women, emitting strength and courage to be a woman, then THANK YOU!  

I'm upset with the constant barrage occurring.  From the trolls on social media making disparaging comments on brave women willing to put themselves out there, to moms criticizing each others mothering skills, the examples are daily.  Professional examples abound - just google glass ceiling and ask yourself why there even is one!  I've been in the workforce for many (trust me, many) years. I was fortunate to have some amazing women bosses and mentors - but I saw (and watched) many women in power positions behave poorly and seemingly work against other women.  Why?  There isn't one winner.  

Let's face it ladies, we all know it started back in elementary school - when for some reason our friends were also our rivals. Daily drama unfolding because "she hurt my feelings" or "she left me out".  Best friends one day, enemies the next.  I am living it now with my 9 year old daughter.  And I have 2 older boys to compare to!  No.....there was really no drama with them.  If someone didn't want to play with them, they really didn't care and found someone else to play with.  It is a daily discussion in our household.  

I'm not sure what the cause is - but I do know the impact to our selves (low self-esteem and anxiety; bad behavior), our community (lack of cohesion and unity, drug abuse) and work-place (smart, talented women that should be developed and inspired versus held back and punished).  When will it stop?  It needs to be called out and there needs to be conscious behavior changes -- it starts with YOU, with ME and I hope it will change US.  Tell your amazing friends how much you love them - that they are beautiful inside and out; that they are smart, funny and WORTH IT!  How much domestic violence could we stop by giving each other much needed boosts in self-esteem and confidence? 

Unfortunately this happens at work (hello glass ceiling), in community and school politics, and in our own families (how many family feuds are caused by a dude getting his feelings hurt???).  We could all benefit if we were supporting one another versus competing with one another - I'm quite certain of it.  And I believe the root cause is low self-esteem and insecurity.  It's sad and honestly its dangerous. The livelihood and future of our daughters depends on it changing.

The truth is, we are all unique and different and we all have something to offer.  We are all amazing, beautiful women.  Start with your own behavior and become the positive, encouraging light in a sea of darkness.....it really can make a difference.

I'd love to hear from others what they think and suggestions for how to change it.  

women supporting women; self-esteem; loveher

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